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tribunal.
soul searchin.


SUX

i am sufferin from a terminal disease
i only write the truth
nothing but the truth

love growin.

god
family
thoreau

hearts talkin.


SUX

Keeon || Kristen
stonez || marilyn
zherui || junyue
ivan || cheng
shuli || weixiang

days countin.

04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003
05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009
10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009
11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010
04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010
05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010
07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010
09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010
11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010
12/01/2010 - 01/01/2011

blog declarin.


SUX

this is a social commentary
not a diary
all original content
ivna@2009

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Use it. Don't lose it

campaign beigns.. kcuf.. say fuck it..
fuck the free world.. piss on me is gettin so heavy.. make it the first time i m usin this prevalent word so blatantly on my fukin blog.. fuka sia.. y take such a bother to refrain from usin this word.. such meaningless attempt to show that i m cultured.. i will adhere to mr lee boon yang.. if i dun use it.. i will lose my chance to prove that i m angry n annoyed.. i will not get to emphasize on wat i m sayin.. aniwae.. i m fucked up wif fuckheads that fuck around n onli do fuck all.. i will fuck over fuckers.. fuck off..


reported by ivna @ 8:57 PM


Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Mrs Dalloway

she appeared on central few minutes ago.. she performed a simple magic trick.. a trick that made me smile.. a simple trick that consisted of.. intersection of time and timelessness.. flow from the conscious to the unconscious.. and makin the world of the sane n the insane lay side by side..


reported by ivna @ 12:09 AM


Monday, September 22, 2003

Eradication Campaign

believe it or not.. i m sufferin from altruistic surrender.. i m not sure what's the cure like.. i m tryin to find it.. this time round.. por favor bless me.. dank u..


reported by ivna @ 2:41 AM


Saturday, September 20, 2003

Penitent

callin upon..
i dun wanna fight again.. i dun wanna be involved in any fights anymore.. i not tired.. i was able to sphere her to the floor.. my fist went straight to his eye.. but, my nose bleeded in response to his merciless smack.. her slap realli churned me.. silly m i.. so much damage dealt.. what's "worth".. they and i should not hav such contact.. they nvr longed for such collision.. becoz they had loved me for more than a decade..


reported by ivna @ 11:54 PM


Tuesday, September 16, 2003

por favor

Match 0503: MILAN vs AJAX
17/09/2003 2:45AM
1X2

MILAN 1.68
DRAW 3.00
AJAX 5.00


por favor trust us..we gonna hav a grote match against a eerste klas team frm italy.. nevertheless, we are goed too.. we are ready.. we hav the fightin spirit.. we hav the rechts attitude.. we can win.. be assured to place ur bets on us.. morgen we will be back in Oudezijds Achterburgwal celebratin.. drinkin koud bier tru the nite.. dank u..


reported by ivna @ 7:03 PM


Sunday, September 14, 2003

Term Progress Report

Term 3 was a mess for this student. This student is reluctant to show any progress. It will be sad to retain this boy unless he picks himself up again..


reported by ivna @ 6:43 PM


Saturday, September 13, 2003

shanghaied

so beautiful.. so interestin.. so many things to see..

on first sight.. i knew tis is the place for me.. tis is the place i m searchin for so long.. nightlife so exotic.. it's impossible to close my eyes.. it's impossible to leave tis place..

jing tian mei hui jia.. i still dun wish to return home.. kaoz.. i tik i heard the first LRT on its way..


reported by ivna @ 5:28 AM



katrina..

i declared i love u..
u said it was a lie..
i told u i was sad..
u suggested me to quit the actin..
i told u i miss u..
u warned me not to use the same line again..
i gave u a toy..
u commented it as another buaya trick..
i wrote u a letter..
u said my vocab sux..

yeah.. yeah.. even at the risk of looking lyk a fool to u..
i dun wanna look back on life to see this missed opportunity..

i m not waitin for u..
i hope u treat this as a lie..



reported by ivna @ 2:59 AM



airport de 0230

with yang, kenbang n malay in my mind
present.. i hoggin at changi
past.. i could not release this rope..
future.. i hope u will return..

alone.. the plane has arrived, i supposed.. i m not waitin.. i juz happened to pass by.. i missed the last bus home.. but i left sum cola fer u accidentally.. it's still cool.. u betta hurry..


reported by ivna @ 2:30 AM



u call this another sleepless nite..

yue liang wang ji le.. this is the third nite.. juz clouds in the sky.. can the moon stop slackin..

how can i sleep wifout u.. stop hidin pls.. i dun hav a telescope.. i cant climb the stairs to grab u.. not bcoz i cant find the stairs, but stairs shu not be the way.. it is not easy to see u chattin to another star at such a time.. but i juz pray that u will soon shine again..


reported by ivna @ 1:55 AM


Friday, September 12, 2003

Love

a magic word.. say it.. say it like tao ze's lyrics.. do it.. do it like guanyin's actions.. hav to quote mother teressa.. there is a paradox in ths world: it hurts to love, but when it hurts more, there is only more love..

i hav been married to the same woman for twenty yrs.. if my heart had continued to flutter every time she entered the room, i would hav died of a heart attack yrs ago.. but i love her a million times more todae than i did when my heart danced every time i saw her..


reported by ivna @ 2:04 AM


Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Home Sweet Home

finalli back to where i belong.. took such a long flight to return.. no more high altitudes.. no more headaches.. no more snow cap.. no more long sleeves shirts.. no more gloves.. feel so free in my t.shirt and shorts.. finalli appreciate the heat of singapore.. home.. miss my family.. miss all the local crusine.. after spendin so many days abroad, i finalli get to cum online again.. tired definitely after the endless fun i had for the past few days.. i believe i will nvr 4get this trip..

i cant imagine being thrown into the true beauty of mother earth.. shangri la was simply a reputation not to be reckoned wif.. majestic sceneries flourished with piquant culture n climate that froze my nose.. i m not strong.. vulnerable.. cold n altitude sickness show no mercy lehz.. i felt so terrible in the cold cold nitez..

but, it was the radiance of this foreign land that kept my blood warm.. fresh encounters wif mountains, trees, strangers, food, language, native songs and dances.. a learnin journey undoubtedly.. most imptly, are the ppl around me that spent this awesome time together.. mornins were visits to schools, cultural tours, outdor activites(it's hard to exercise under such conditions) and shoppin.. nitez were parties, campfire and ....... wat i enjoyed most.. the late nites in the hotel.. many of us cramped into one hotel room.. dun understand y owaes gather to my room, i had to clear up the mess.. we watched tv, but no prog.. we cooked and ate cup noodles together.. played soccer along the corridor.. played rounds and rounds of card games tru the nite.. zhixuan is the best blaff player i ever seen.. hahEz.. reminded me.. the only one who kept diary durin this trip.. wun 4get the criticisms both of us suffered for eatin one more chicken wing than the rest.. ji kun mahz.. peh and max owaes question his x'tian beliefs durin meals.. wonder how wei sheng was able to sleep in the room packed wif gamblers.. will remember dancin wif terrence, jian bin, max, mervyn and zhe rui.. haHEz.. a gay actualli fell for jian bin.. my grp rox certainly.. owaes kb our frenly instructor, andrew.. thanz to all the complainin did by my dear mr Foo.. jy was brave enuff to take snapshots of wrongbus.. but in the end, he lost his camera.. so sad.. oso ole is a veri funny guy.. i cant eat mao niu.. wat a pity.. but instant noodle there was the best i ever had.. i lookin at the toy monkey i won after hittin bull's eye.. jj got it oso.. it is smilin at me.. i ponder abt the longveity of the memories i kept dear to me.. i nvr looked at the constellations so close b4.. orion was so clear over there.. but the moon is rounder here.. i miss xiang ge li la.. i will return there one day.. to pick up the pieces of memory i left there.. for now.. i muz concentrate on my promos..


reported by ivna @ 4:03 AM


Monday, September 08, 2003

Prayers..

a long week has an end.. i had not seen my ah ma for 361 days.. yeZdae nite ah gong and her came to stay in my house.. i was instructed to to behave myself n refrain frm goin crazy in front of them.. they care.. they will watch me closely.. i had no idea wat they desire for.. but i juz wish them the best.. they are goin to stay for a long long time i guess.. i will make them stay for a long long time..

i hav no magical powers like jolin.. all i can do is to learn frm ah Q.. i can onli bless ppl with my prayers... my parents will spend more time wif me.. or shu i say i spend more time wif them.. my brother will receive wat he deserves for the hardwork he put in.. hope stella will enjoy oversea education.. jingshi n yuzhe will recover soon.. hornyteam to quit lavious parties/arguments n learn to be punctual.. not forgettin the special person to enjoy every seconds of life.. wat a long wish list i hav.. i m greedy, m i?


reported by ivna @ 12:47 AM


Wednesday, September 03, 2003

whose story

this is the third "whose story" i m writin.. i will try to make it BORIN..
blubbered inside me, myself n i.. it was a bad day.. a rough start.. devastated.. pressure n burdens filled my air.. i came to such a state.. i doubted whether i can breathe.. luckily i hav d.. i believe d will light up my day.. i believe d will lend me a shoulder to cry on.. i tot d will tell me a joke.. i tot d will make me laff.. i tot d will accompany me back home.. i tot d will be by my side.. i tot d will wipe my tears with anitiK.. i tot d will buy me an ice cream.. i tot d will gif me the warmth n comfort i needed most..

crush.. a crush will not be by ur side when u needed them most.. i saw d when i m leavin.. i told d where i m headin.. "why did you tell me this?" d replied.. we made our way to the bus stop.. but, i boarded the bus alone.. alone.. i wonder why d left me alone.. the one i needed most at that point of time was not beside me.. i realized that sum ppl r juz not reliable.. they r so mean to leave you alone when u r in despair.. they r so selfish to not gif u any care or concern.. may be d was juz not the one i needed.. d did not love me the way it should be.. d did not provide wat i wanted.. i cannot forget how badly i sobbed on the bus.. u cannot remember how much u hurt me..


reported by ivna @ 12:20 AM