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tribunal.
soul searchin.


SUX

i am sufferin from a terminal disease
i only write the truth
nothing but the truth

love growin.

god
family
thoreau

hearts talkin.


SUX

Keeon || Kristen
stonez || marilyn
zherui || junyue
ivan || cheng
shuli || weixiang

days countin.

04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003
05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009
10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009
11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010
04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010
05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010
07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010
09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010
11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010
12/01/2010 - 01/01/2011

blog declarin.


SUX

this is a social commentary
not a diary
all original content
ivna@2009

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

YuKi (no) Yaki

a japanese outlook restaurant, with chinese pop music on air.
a steamboat buffet with greater variety of food compared to S.gardEn

another wonderful outin wif my beloved fWenz. kb, koon and weilin hav to regret it for not joinin us, coZ it was simply the best meal we had ever haD. it was a 2.hour seafood buffet, where u fry ur food in a pit and hav a pot of soup beside it. 5 hungry ghosts created hell over there, we ordered every dish tat was available. the waitress doubted our appetite and threatened that there would be penalties if we cant finish all the dishes within 2 hourz. tiz sURzly added fun to the whole meal and tiz maybe the one of the longest dinner i ever had. at 1930 pow called his parentz to tell them that he was havin dinner, then 2 hourz later, he was still bz eatin. we hav 40 over dishes and the table was not big enuFF to accomodate all the dishes. the cookin part was fantastic. we were lyk kampong kidz treatin the tiz lyk a science laB session. the fire was started, an ice cube was thrown into the pit den it start to skim all over the place. we were so amazed n actualli took a video of it, haHEz. the first tiK we cooked was eggz. we threw in around 8 eggz den realized that we 4gotten to add oil. den boastful kenneth started cookin, altough most of the meat he served to me was stiFF n raw. his chicken wingz was either thrown away or inedible. yanwei cooked my fav dish pork with eggs, garlic, a lot of salt, white pepper, chilli piecez and sweet sauce. the best was cookin 3 diFF kinda beef together. kk, del and pow ended up eatin so much beef, coz yanwei n i cant take beef. we even cooked bean sprout n noodlez. we finished almost everitiK half an hour b4 time. we played game, the punishment was a sip of iced tom yam drinK. a sip was enUFF, able to choke ur nose with smokez n create waves in ur stomach. it was the most ER XIN drink i ever tasted in my life, it was definitely not meant fer human consumption. we enjoyed the carbon in the pit, imagine how much carbon i consumed yeZdae. we had a great time tryin to clear the carbon in the pit. pourin soup into it and scratchin off the carbon. Den cum the ice icream, the pit was washed within minutes and easily by the waitress. then it turned into a tool to make ice cream. WoW, it was great undoubtedly. but, hav to mention tt kiwi flavoured ice cream iz not tasty at all. it became another item of punishment ofr our game. delwyn got it and had a haRd time tryin to swallow everitiK. we took a lot of picturez n were the last customerz to leave the place.

Haiz.. it was a monday nite. there was no late nite moviez, everi1 was so disappointed. we walked along the streetz fer sum time. den finally parted n when homE. pow n i went fer NEL. we spent sum time in station, waitin fer the last train to arrive. i lay on the granite seatz, tokin to him and did not wish to go home at all. there's a time to part, shu learn when to let go. Den, the last train came.


reported by ivna @ 8:28 PM



yeZdae
had a match wif scorcherz, got trashed 8-1, guesssed how i felt. but tt was the first trainin of the horny team, able score 1 goal against a well.prepared opponent, not bad rite:>. feel that we could hav done better, but i m satisfied. tiz iz the start, there's a long way to go. i m glad i had a start. appreciate tt i given a chance. gif everitiK a chance laRz, dun draw conclusionz beforehand lehz, u nvr noe wat u will gain. to my team: weLL doNE, work haRd.


reported by ivna @ 6:47 PM


Sunday, June 22, 2003

a few lost soulz

few yearz back. there was a herd of soulz tt came together. found sumtiK in common, perhapz many tiKz. these soulz found a home. a habitat of a cement platform surrounded by wallz, only two big holez were signficant enuFF to be included in tiz majestic structure. it may sound complicated, but a simple rule applies: Survival of the Fittest. a ball united these soulz into a team. a team that vowz to bring a new face, approach and style to tiz game. a team that was despised, criticized and laFFed at. a team that played on, with just pure joy in their headz, ignored the jeerz of the crowd. a team that was fearless and was proud of the team name, coz the soulz lived up to it. these soulz enjoyed the time together, coz the fun conjured by the team was so immense that allowed the soulz to put everitiK behind. the soulz had to admit that "domination" was not a frequently mentioned word back in their habitat. was this word very important? the soulz enjoyed the timez: playin in the rain, card gamez under the tree, cleanin up the ep3 block and catchin dear security guard george surfin porn.

Team changed. forgive and forget was not in the team's dicK. constant lyin and backstabbin among each soulz. trust lost her way in the team. soulz were more concerned over material well-being than the spiritual well-being of the team. soulz began to quarrel n there was no perfect settlement to everitiK. sum began to drift apart. sum questioned the way they played the game. sum began to take notice of the opinionz of the crowd. sum realized that the team did not put in the best. soulz became paranoid, pessimistic and suspicious of each other. it was dissembled silently in the long run, the piecez try their best not to mention the name again. soulz nvr spoke of the team again, the team juz made its way into history.

hope. a hand reached into the fire. a fire that burned these soulz. a fire that kept these soulz apart. it's a changed hand. the hand has wounds on it, but blood flows into it lyk never before. tis soul iz believed to be the most potent source of energy, a soul that can create a great impact. that soul took the first step and claimed to me that that he iz willin to use his bear hand to extinguish tiz fire. i trust tiz soul for one more time and i will also use my hand to play my part. both of us noe clearly that tis fire needs five hands to extinguish it, but sum1 hav to put it in ferst. soulz hope that tiz merciless fire will be put out and a brand new flame will replace the ashes. a new fire that has nothing to do with destruction, onli symbolize the team's will to fight and win. be it the scorcherz or the kokaladeez that roamed the court; wat do bingchen, wuneng, max, labond and ivan remind u of? the team was horny.


reported by ivna @ 2:43 AM


Saturday, June 21, 2003

Renaissance�

new face, old style. fruitless, workin towaRds simplicity beauty. the fontz for tiz site iz juicy.

lonG lonG dayz
tiz change in life did not begin on thursday. it began when my the thoughts in my mind changed. every single soul knowz clearly wat they want? i knew what i want, but the saddest tiK iz that i dUn woRk towarDz it. that was in the past. When u choose to hav a positive attitude, tiKz juz go smoothly, notiK goes wrong. Many thing happened, but notiK had brought me down yet. many ppl crossed my path: wenyang, yirui, bingxin, huiqi, weixiang, tyan tyan and max. they taught me, allowed me to pull through and shut my world from emptiness.
i slept at 6am on a friday morning. SumtiK held me back from my dreamz. sumtiK so strong, so intimidating and ambiguious. an acquaintance i supposed; flippin my longman comtemporary diCk: someone you know, but not close to. this person n i can show what this world iz realli lyk now. it was a face.off of human nature, a clash of titanz? this person iz hard to catch, lyk me maybE. to me, tis person iz a mirror. Who do i fear in my life? fear of each other has kept us apart, a hostility that froze such an ice wall between us. it was onli yeZdae i took a hammer, he managed a flame thrower, that realli created a hole in tiz pointless iceberg. i hav to be honest, meltin process iz not over yet. since many soulz aruged tat we live in a cold cold world, it's not easy to melt tiz shit. it's over a decade, i goin to throw out my trust again. i dUNno what e resultz will be, but i m goin to try. since notik can stop me frm tryin, i told myself " why not". maybe i will juz fall fer another scam, maybe i will juz fall fer another trap, maybe i will juz fall into a dark dark pit n nvr crawl out again.
presently, i haD feLL into 1 pit, there was a candle at first n i enjoyed the warmth. the flame gradually melted the wax and left me in total darkness. i nvr close my eyes since, coz it make no diFF. it's only in darkness tt u will bother to look at thingz carefully. soulz treasure wat they lost, but not tikz around them. optimism, a little of Ah Q spirit and faith allowed me to enjoy darkness. there iz beauty in everitiK, it takez effortz to identify it. there are voicez callin me to climb out of tiz pit, but i m still down there. i made my choice.

the past few dayz, so happenin, so hip hop, so machichiyoh... elated?


reported by ivna @ 3:40 AM


Thursday, June 19, 2003

I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

Still cant kick my habit of sleeping late. Studying for test. Hope my leg iz in perfect condition for the upcoming activites and the captain ball competition. Next week iz realli packed, realli pray for space to breathe.

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I love my life. Startin to watch my diet liaoz, realli gettin fat. can sum muggin spirit possess mE? i wan to noE wat muggin iz lyk, i wanna feel it.

Until I next see you smile
I can��t take the distance
And I��m not ashamed
That with every breath I take
I��m calling your name

I owaEz believe tt my life will end at 50, duNno y. tt's y i not afraid to die now, coZ i cant. i doin whacky tikZ, tiK i realli crappy. i m out of my mind? crazy? i dun crap, tt's wat i say n i mean it. sanity iz onli a smokescreen. who is saint enuFF to call ppl insane. heyz BRUCE ALMIGHTY sayz> be the miracle!! dun wait fer it. there's no mircale in tiz world? even if there iz, it iz man made. a mother take takes up 2 jobz n still can bring her kids to soccer practice iz a miracle. dun owaEz look up to e sky fer the answer n pray. sumtimez the true strength lies within u. faith in urself, not in sum1 else to help u? Bless everione...

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reported by ivna @ 3:12 AM


Tuesday, June 17, 2003

Day 28. Fight coming to an end. Winning is unnecessary. Survival is vital.

A run of 19 unanswered points in the fourth quarter consigned the New Jersey Nets to an 88-77 defeat and saw the Spurs take the series 4-2.

What is impossible? Nothing. ivna.blogspot.com has been dead for a week. BUSY or MUGGING. Neither. Just the pathetic wounds on my feet. Walking is a torment. I walked untill i tried hard to cathc my breath. The cresent cut on my toe, the BIG THREE blisterz under my feet and the recovered sprained ankle. I am not tired, just a little lazy. In fact, I am lazy. So many things happened. I discovered a lot of things today. I just cant be bothered: BOCHUP�. Many cold blooded creatures live in this world and i appreciate that. Freaks like me roam tis planet, so i am not surprised to find beings that act strangely. Mutants evolved. Poor memory or chose to forget. Nevertheless, pain and change are inevitable.

Guessin game is over. Waitin game has move on to another stage. It's HIDE N SEEK. Played it since i am young. i owaEz wanna be e one hidin, coZ seekin iz painfuL. Hidin is not good either, you hav not direction in mind, u dun noE where to go and u r in no contro. haiz, cant go on tokin abt tiz. tis game iz sophiscated, no rules and vicotry is not defined. even if e seeker catch me, i will just pretend tt notik happened. no1 wans to lose, it's a simple fact. i start to trust luck again. life is simple.

Fate creates a bridge call coincidence for pple who r prepared for it. It's gone�

Someday I�ll find the way to shine
Leave all these rainy days behind
I know there�s got to be
Some place warm and bright for me
I�m running out of places I can run
Looking for a place in the sun


reported by ivna @ 1:44 AM


Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Day 21. Fight iz on, i am not a quitter, i will show that i really care. i care about this world, life is beautifuL?

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 :: in search of faith, fount e motivation to move on. "I was extremely motivated and for me this was a perfect final." said Juan Carlos Ferrero describing his performance as "perfect" after he destroyed Martin Verkerk 6-1 6-3 6-2 to win the French Open final. SumtiKz juz hav to come, u cant run, u cant hide, no point avoidin n dodgin, face it please.

It�s sad, so sad
It�s a sad, sad situation.
And it�s getting more and more absurd.
It�s sad, so sad
Why can�t we talk it over?

Blue - Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Nvm`, wait iz inevitable. i developed patience, i am able sit in e cornEr n suFFer, waitin. u nvr really understand sum1 until u climb into his or her skin n walk ard in it, familiar rite? it makes sense, or else i wun study it laZ time.


reported by ivna @ 1:46 AM


Monday, June 09, 2003

hoLiz noW...
make up lessonz fer e whole of ferst week.
den try to study fer e rest of e "holidaEz"
ideal to hav more gatherinz wiF all my kawanz
cut on my toE iz still there, so deep, nail broken and blisterz on both feet.
Out fer 3 weekz, will misss my stinky shoE.
will grow fatter, cant exercise much.
wall's nutz about chocolate iz awesoME.
tml lessonz end at six. good luck to mE.
dargonboat lost all eventz aniwaE.
team iz united, we treasured e time


reported by ivna @ 11:49 PM


Friday, June 06, 2003

All Andre Agassi's experience could not prevent him being dumped out of the French Open quarter-finals at the hands of Argentina's seventh seed Guillermo Coria. >>>>>> This indeed proves that there is something wrong with this world.

Ready for competition? Uncertainty and insecurity. Final training today. Fruitful. Winning really not important? Saturday will reveal all the answers.

Had a cut on my toe, it's still bleeding. I have lost a lot of blood. What hurts me deeply is surely not the rough edges of the dragon boat. Tommorrow: maybe the last land training i have; LEP test, hope i can pull through. Heard that history is postponed today, the instructions i got were ambigious, i m uncertain of what has happened. Sometimes, i really appreciate that everyone can learn to convey what they are trying to say clearer. Stop beating around the bush and hit the nail, do not cause others to begin guessing aimlessly. It really hurts playing the guessing game. Till now, i do not know exactly what went wrong, is there room for improvement, what actually caused the history test to be postponed. Does not really matter, all these do not mean much to me now.

I never promised you a happy ending
You never said you wouldn't make me cry
Memories can make
But my heart has a place for the smile on your face
And maybe someday
We can be more than friends love will find us again.
Red leaves and blue tomorrows
Time will give back the love that we shared on the time that we borrowed

Britney Spears - Autumn Goodbye


reported by ivna @ 2:26 AM


Wednesday, June 04, 2003

long long time... i hav not bloG..

competition cumin, tis sat, finaLLi, cant wait fer it to be over, put an end to all miseries? tml hav xtra trg, get to leave sch early, will miss hist test. hav not gotten my singlet frm my faV mr.chian yet. spendin a lot these daEz, i will soon be broKe. bcumin a sportz enthusiats liaoz; played squasH on mondae, badminton on tues and soccer todae. exhaustin my legz n aRmz b4 compeition, how clever am i..

2Dae iz sportz dae. a lot of happeninz.. quite enjoyablE.. skipped mathz lect to sleep. den went play soccer until J.tan walked pass. could not catch wat trident was cheerin abt, feel veri left out. Uncles came back to their old soccer court. bangzi returned but missed siang kiat again. soccer crazy weilin and koon yin came oso, good to hear they r cumin on fri too. didnt realli played soocer with these ppl, thanz to sportz daE. enjoy the party @ the green truck free flow milo, accompanied wiF sweet softball galz service. 17 cupz, record tt i made, which earned me the "bouncer" title there and got banned frm havin more milo. e softballerz were all cursin tt i hav stomache at nite. was not realli suRz how the sportz meet enD, was more eager to play soccer. finalli get to play with aleree, he's awesome, too bad he has council and vbaLL. Went home with him, had a nice time tokiN to him.


reported by ivna @ 11:43 PM


Sunday, June 01, 2003

"You have heard that it was said, `An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.'
But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also;
And if any one would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well;
And if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you.

Matthew 5:38-42


reported by ivna @ 10:28 PM



When i was small, and christmas trees were tall,
We used to love while others used to play.
Don't ask me why, but time has passed us by,
Someone else moved in from far away.

Now we are tall, and christmas trees are small,
And you don't ask the time of day.
But you and i, our love will never die,
But guess who'll cry come first of may.

Sarah Brightman - First Of May


reported by ivna @ 10:05 PM



ohz...
4got to blog these daEz
Too busy.. too lazy.. too tired.. too playful.. too dumB

Tml hav sum canoe 1star course, tiK i will be scolded my chian again. shu sleep sooN.

muz toK abt thuRzdae. it was yanwei's bDae. a gatherin, supposed to commerate tis speciaL date. our present fer him was a treat to seoul garden. BUtT, we celebrated tis event wiF out e bDae boy. Kb did not cum again, claimed it was too expensive. but tis time outin hav nine ppl, recoRd.. deaR mentoR aizat came wiF peiqi. b4 tis, went watch hcjc battled sajc, it was great, juz hate tt hcjc actuaLLi boooed at sajc when they were takin free throw. ajc butchez lost to hcjc, shi.ai iz a total boy now. ponDer how can a boyish team lose to hcjc galz. seoul garden iz expensive, try not to go tt many timez. e seafood iz lousy, e curry puFFz were awesome. most of e time was spend eatin than tokin, didnt get to play gamEz again. everi1 noEz wat aizat does in the afternoon n y he spend so much time in the toilet. it was a perfect opportunity to chionG ice cream n ice kachanG. ate untiL i cant stand up. realli tortured my stomach, i skipped lunch fer tis meaL. POw brought D.caM, thus we took a lot of photoz; which iz ideal to hav a last glimpse of my hair.

hcjc vbaLL lost.. so sad.. but i was veri happy tt day. aJC won finaLLi. aJc number 14 was e best, tjc number 18 was disappointin, juz a robin. tt retainee chao act cooL, all his smackz were off target. lucky tt ajC won, next year will suRzly be hcjc against ajC. koon vs ellery.

comp on next sat.
misfortunE.. shushudui iz havin a conflict wiF teamuncles. tiK tis iz good. onli make e canoe team stronger N more united; we will puLL tru.


reported by ivna @ 1:35 AM